Monday, January 20, 2014

If Horse Racing Went Richard Sherman

As mom's and dad's sit around breakfast tables trying to reinstill the long held sports tradition of winning with class after last night's polar vortex of the antithesis, it got me thinking........

What if Richard Sherman was ported back in horse racing history?

After winning the Triple Crown, Affirmed to Alydar: "Lionel Ritchie is gonna write a song about you, "Once, Twice, Three Times a Loser."

Shug McGauhey to Todd Pletcher after Orb's Triple Crown win: "Hey expensive-tie-boy, you can talk smack with your five entries, but you suck in the big one."

Calvin Borel to Javier Castellano after a BC race at Churchill: "I'm gonna pop you one in the nose" Whoops.

The Phipps Family to Sackatoga Stable: "Get these commoners out of the turf club, and take that gelding with them."

After Zenyatta won the Breeders Cup Classic at Santa Anita, John Shirreff to the DRF: "Eat my west coast bias, Mofo's"

Larry Collmus after landing the Breeders Cup gig from Trevor Denman: "Who's the best? I'm the best. Now go sprout wings and get outta my face."

Tom Durkin, about Larry Collmus: "I found Larry's comments disrespectful. Plus they were stupid....... like, really, who has two thumbs and calls Saratoga?"

Richard Grunder to Tom, Larry and Trevor: "Hey guys, what about me?"

Seth Merrow of Equidaily about Ray Paulick: "The dick stole my idea."

Seabiscuit to War Admiral: "I'd say he fought the war until he saw the whites of my eyes, but he was too busy looking at my ass"

One of the things I like - no, I really like - about horse racing, is that as horse owners, and handicappers, or participants, we rarely forget to win with class.  Whether we are hitting a superfecta that our friend beside us got nosed out on, or when one of our fellow participants animals gets a bad trip, or is beaten off bad racing luck (where we've benefited) we've all been on either side of it and we act accordingly.

We all know this game is humbling. You can be on top of the world one moment, and at the bottom the next. Most of racing never forgets that.

When long ago I got advice as a horse owner I was told that when you lose, congratulate the winner, shake his or her hand, and move on to the next race. I think that's sound advice. I am glad I am involved in a sport that abides by it, almost without fail, and it's witnessed each day at racetracks as often in 2013 as it was fifty years ago.

Have a great day everyone.


2 comments:

Matthew said...

Your sense of humor about Trevor Denman is unacceptable. Many fans at Santa Anita and Del Mar prefer to hear Trevor Denman's race calls and love to hear Trevor Denman's race calls instead of any other announcers. Trevor Denman did call all of the Breeders' Cup races last year for the on-track, internet and Horse Racing Radio Network broadcast while Collmus is calling all of these races on NBCSN and NBC. Larry Collmus did not replace Trevor for the Breeders' Cup calls, it's just that NBC did not broadcast Trevor's Breeders' Cup race calls on their networks. Trevor Denman is also my favorite horse racing announcer of all time, and I am very angry about your negative sense of humor against my favorite horse racing announcer.

Anonymous said...

Settle down, Francis.