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So What's the Big Churchill Downs News Today?

This was tweeted last evening:
Twitter was abuzz. What could this big news be?

No one seems to know, but there have been many, many rumors. Bigly rumors. I'll share a few that I've seen on the social media machine here. I should caution, despite many of these rumors sounding perfectly plausible, they are not news. Some might even turn out to be fake news.

Tax Deal Announced. "Kentucky Derby" to Stay the "Kentucky Derby" -  No, the Kentucky Derby will not be renamed the "Big Fish Jackpot Stakes brought you by Big Fish Games" as proposed by the gaming giant. The Governor gave in to demands for a 0.1% tax rate on all CDI revenue until the year 2055, and a special "Louisville Hardship Development Grant" for the iconic racetrack. Commonwealth crisis averted.

Churchill: Jackpot Pick 6 Last Leg Cancellation was due to "Bad Clams" - I had not heard, but apparently (so twitter tells me) the last leg of the pick 6 was cancelled, with lucky bettors holding winning tickets on five of seven horses, due to one of the stewards eating "bad clams". Thus far they've found everything was done correctly. For the stewards safety and the integrity of horse racing it was the only course of action. The jackpot carryover continues tomorrow.

New App Released on the APP Store - We're hearing a rumor that CDI will be releasing a new app today (for Apple Watch, iPad and iPhone). The app allows a user to replace his or her regular clock with a divestiture clock, where when the numbers hit zero, Churchill Downs will be completely divested from horse racing.

New Takeout Hike - It's rumored there could be more surcharges coming for bettors this fall. CDI and the Governor propose a 35% takeout on supers, tris, exactas and pick 5's to generate money. "1% of the takeout hike will go to purses, and the rest will be used to make open market purchases of Churchill Downs stock," said a source.  When asked what happens if revenue goes down, like it usually does over time, the source said "they don't really have a plan for that contingency."

Churchill to Purchase TVG, Xpressbet, PTC and 11 Other ADW's - This one, if true is a barnburner.  Word is they see how an ADW monopoly works in Canada, and they absolutely love the idea.

New "Computerized" Morning Line Announced - Rumor has it that morning lines will now be made by computer. "They wanted the morning line to add up to 155% so they could make it look like horses are all overlays," said my source. "The employees revolted, so they went to a computer, programmed by bad math puppet masters."

Travis "Headroom" New Race Caller - This one sounds a little unbelievable, but as a cost-cutting measure, Travis Stone has been replaced by a computer mash up of Travis Stone calls. "CDI owns the rights to Travis's voice, likeness and words. Churchill believes they have enough tape to use Travis's voice with snippets of race calls to make the races run smoothly, at pennies on the dollar."

Kentucky Downs' Racedates Announced - Although it may seem odd that a rival track would announce the racedates for another track, it's rumored to be happening this morning. Sources say Kentucky Downs will now be allowed one race every two years.  The race, for maiden steeplechasers will be a non-betting affair, and be run on January 3rd, rain, ,snow, sleet or shine. "The Kentucky Downs slots money will now go right to Churchill, after Kentucky Downs pays expenses for the day," said my source.

Will any (or all?) of the above be true? Tune in later today to find out.

And have a nice Tuesday everyone.


Comments

Anonymous said…
Bwah? The BIG news was that TwinSpires was moving to Kentucky? No mention about Ky Downs executives holding a charity car wash in the CD parking lot every Derby Day to benefit needy CD execs? No mention about jockeys, trainers and horses outsourced to India? No mention of automated betting so far ahead of Frank's Wizard that it would hit up your bank account, bet using its own algorithms and whine on social media and discussion boards afterwards?
Anonymous said…
So Gov. Bevin must have called for good Bluegrass Kentuckians to open their places to this flood of over 70 new residents. I can see him pleading for the urgent need of spare stalls for them to live in, swept out or not, with a maximum of $100 a day rent ($300 on Derby Day only). Of course, the rental price would include two buckets, one for water and one for y'know.