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Video of the "New Meadowlands"; Ready to Open

There's a bit of a buzz regarding the grand opening of the new Meadowlands grandstand happening. The place does look pretty sweet:

Cub reporter informs me of a few new initiatives this season, as well as some rumors dispelled, right from management. These, to my knowledge have never been released to the public: 
  •  There is no truth to the rumor that employees will be docked $50 pay if, when referencing the Meadowlands, they fail to say "new" in front of it, says my source.
  • It is true that racing jack-of-all-trades Nick Salvi, will, daily, be dressed as a comic book character.

  • It is not true that Director of racing person Darrin Zocalli has been named head of social media for his fan deference, humility, and all around happy-go-lucky nature. 
  • It is not true JLO will be performing the national anthem and a medly of hip hop and country hits opening night, says Marketing King of Marketing Justin Horowitz (@itsthejho). "I tried to get cousin JLO", he told me - fully aware that the only reason he holds the job is because of this connection, "but she has another engagement, at Yonkers". 
  • It is not true that to make things more interesting, and to spread the wealth around, "New" Meadowlands owner Jeff Gural will be taxing Ronnie Burke purse money plus 5 grand for every win over four he gets per evening. "This is a bad rumor, maybe started by those mean guys over at Yonkers" said Gural.
  • It is true that to get the scourge of kicking out of this sport, and to stop making it look like harness racing folks are all a part of the cast of the movie Deliverance, Jeff Gural has instituted a new kicking policy. "If I see a driver kick a horse, after the race a retired racehorse will get to kick the driver" said Gural. This should raise some money for retired standardbreds and stop the banjo music on youtube whenever someone puts up a harness racing video", he said.
  • It is not true that for the Moni Maker stakes, driver Brian Sears will be staying at Yonkers, because he has four drives in the winners over 25k class; thus giving Bee a Magician a driver change to Robert Krivelin. "I'll probably drive at the Meadowlands - I mean the "New Meadowlands" that night", Sears informs me. 
  • Conversely, driver George Brennan will take advantage of getting a few more even money shots across at Yonkers. "I could easily make another $400 with Brian gone" said the Minister of Greed Speed. 
  • It is not true that to stop half in half out, drivers will be fitted with a small device, giving them an electrical shock when they try the move. "Too drastic" says my source.  
  • It is true that Team Treacherous will be giving all USHWA Dan Patch voters a free meal in the new Pink restaurant on November 30th, if they sign, in blood, that they will be voting for the Captain. This holds, even if Bee a Magician wins the Moni Maker by 31 and a half lengths in 149.2, while being catch driven by Robert Krivelin. In response, Bee a Magician trainer Nifty Norman said "hell, I'll vote for him for a free meal in Pink. The place looks great".
The "New" Meadowlands opens this Saturday. It should be a fantastic night.  And I'm not getting paid $50 to say that. Good luck to everyone involved. May they have a great week.


Comments

I shall be leaping the new grandstand in a single bound!
Anonymous said…
Whew, Nick! So glad you dispelled those rumors and set the record straight!
Anonymous said…
It's pretty obvious that without Salvi the grandstand would've never been even financed. He's easily the most important person at that racetrack. He deserves a huge raise.

Regards,

The Salvi Family