Saturday, January 23, 2016

Things to Do During a Blizzard

Hello everyone!

If there's something we know about in Canada, it's maple syrup, back bacon, high taxes, beer, hockey, waiting six months for an MRI, snow. For those of you in horse racing land, here are some ideas for you to spend your time fruitfully during a blizzard.


With Chrome landing in Dubai yesterday, it's a perfect time to fire up a new #bringhomechrome facebook page. With the storm you have time to do this, so there's absolutely no excuse. Let's get the big fella home.

Crash a Chris Christie storm press conference and ask him what he thinks of Jeff Gural.


Write an essay for your RTIP racing class answering the philosophical question - If you did not have power and had nothing to burn to stay warm, would Equibase still charge you for print past performances?

If you're really bored, pop over to a horse racing thread on facebook and ask "Hey guys, what
y'all think about lasix?"

If you are in Brooklyn, walk over (don't drive for cripes sake) to Sid Fernando's house and watch horse sex videos.

Search google (if you have power) for all the takeout studies done since 1945. Email the 12,984 of them that say takeout is too high to racing execs, and count the responses you get back that say "we have to pay for the show". For extra fun, set an over/under and bet on it with your family.

If you're a Russian, Norwegian, or Canadian racetrack, make fun of US racetracks.


Follow Peter Berry on twitter and see if he follows you back. Then unfollow him and refollow him to see his next move.

Work in teams of six, watch all the harness racing replays of the last week and count the kicking violations that the judges missed. Make sure the team leader of each group is well-versed in excel - pivot tables, macros, etc - and has experience with big data.

Compare the New England Patriots to Richard Dutrow on twitter, sit back, and watch the fun.

Try to hack the DRF paywall.

Watch every Zenyatta replay and come to the conclusion that "hey, maybe she wasn't a surface specialist."

Watch TVG and count the number of $24 pick 6 tickets that have no hope in hell of hitting.

Email Chris Kay and ask him what's worse for handle, weather cancellations or the college football playoffs.

Scan Louisville police scanners to see if there are any reports of Churchill Downs execs turning away freezing little people from their giant, climate controlled, oil burning compounds.

Otherwise, just do what I do as a winter storm veteran Canadian - hole up, eat doritos and bet some races, right through Australia track "A".

Have a nice day peeps. Don't shovel heavy snow, unless you're a personal trainer or something. And for gawd's sake, stay away from jackpot bets.


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