Things to Do Tonight Other Than Watch the #BeemieAwards

Jason Beem

As y'all know, tonight is the 37th Annual Beemie Awards. Congrats and best wishes to Carly and those who make it go.

It's usually a raucous time on horse twitter, and year after year some twitterites want something to do besides watch that boneheaded awards show.

I'm here for you. Here are my top X (I am using X because I am doing this off the top of my head, unlike most of my supremely researched and grammarlied blog pieces) things to do to pass the time:

• Post the Cal-Expo pick 4 ticket you just took and ask Inside the Pylons what he thinks of your ticket construction 
• Tweet, "I started playing more California races since they changed the whip rule" to @racetrackandy
• Tweet "I hate the Beemie Awards". Do this from a burner account. 
• Ask @o_crunk to list his favorite Phish concerts in descending order from 100. 
• Tweet "Why don't you sponsor the Beemie Awards?" to the Runhappy twitter feed over and over again until the horse answers. 
• If the #BeemieAwards trends, tweet about it, if it doesn't, blame the Trump rally where he's riffing about canned ham.  
• Tweet your new research paper "The New Stronach Group Graphics and Tetris, A Case Study" and ask for comments
• Go over to @superterrific's house and watch Law and Order
• Start a buzzer cheating conversation that doesn't involve a jockey. 
• Keep refreshing that Sham I Am dude's twitter feed, hoping he's going to post a Beemie Awards Bingo board. 
• Misspell #Beemie #Bernie and tweet that you like Liz Warren. 
• Tweet to Clark Brewster asking why he isn't on the Trump legal team after his success in freeing Steve Asmussen from the damning clutches of PETA. 
• Tweet out your Derby Top Ten List
• Ask Marcus Hersh what he likes best about NFL Football. 
• Tweet pictures of Alex Ovechkin holding the Cup to @gregreinhart
• Tweet the Churchill Downs historical share price chart and plot the price movements with racetracks they've crushed. Ask horse twitter to share their thoughts
• Read the new paper: "The Gulfstream Non-Championship Meet vs. the Gulfstream Championship Meet - Core Differences"
• Tell everyone you're not watching the Beemies because you have to wash your dog

Have a good time tonight if you're watching, and if you aren't, well there are a few things you can do instead. 

Have a nice weekend, and as Marcus Hersh would say, "enjoy the football on Sunday!"

* Many years ago, a friend asked a girl out on a date, she clearly did not want to go, so she said she had to stay in and wash her dog. Some things stick with you all these years. It's my favorite excuse of all time.