Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Holiday Cheer With My Peeps (& Kevin Bacon)

We don’t get to meet up in the blogosphere much, but I am happy report that yesterday we did. A few of us headed to the pub to have a few beers and enjoy the season.

And I thought I would share the story.....

I showed up first as I am always early. I waited patiently at the entrance but it was cold so I went inside. It was a fine pub, filled with holiday cheer, happy faces and a wide selection of brew. I felt immediately at home and grabbed a spot at the bar beside a gaggle of hot women, all trying to chat with a man who looked exactly like Kevin Bacon.

It turns out I was not the first here - Ray Paulick arrived before me.

“Hi Ray”, I said.

In return I received a slight frown. Ray was pretending to be the Footloose dude. For the love of God I hope he does not try to dance.

I decided to walk to the back of the bar to see if anyone else had arrived. Out of the corner of my ear I heard a diatribe, a soliloquy if you will, speaking of the inner workings of New York politics, Aqueduct slots and interesting facts on Ashley Dupre’s new hairstyle. Cool, it was Left at the Gate!

“Hi Left”, I said.

“Hi Pull” he replied.

“Have you seen Ray?” I asked.

“Sure did. I got 3 to 1 in a bet with Dana that he dances soon.”

Ah ha! There was Dana and this year she was dressed in multi-colors. “Dana, why are you so colorful? Last year you were all in purple!” I queried.

“Now that the Breeders Cup finally came to their senses with the saddle pads I am honoring them. Look at my socks… candy canes!” she beamed.

“Good job,” I said. Dana had been working hard on that all year.

Just then I heard a massive amount of laughter; like Ruth Buzzi provoked laughter at an old age home. I should have known, it was Sid Fernando, the most interesting man in the world, and he was telling stories. I could not make it out, but I think it was a story about a mating of a horse in the year 1210 whose offspring hoof-signed the Magna Carta, and whose bloodlines can be traced from the winner of the seventh at an obscure racetrack in Puerto Rico.

At that moment I heard “Switch it to Yonkers. Damn runners.” It was my old hopple pal View From the Racetrack Grandstand.

“Hi Pull. Do you believe these TV stations? Mountaineer and some hole named Penn instead of Yonkers. $&^!(*#!”."

I know whatcha mean View. We can’t get a break.

We were instantly joined by a well dressed fella: “I am the King……. the king! Now he roams in with that Brad kid who dresses like a Chicago Bear and tries to be like me. And it eternally pisses me off that those hot chicks think he is Kevin Bacon.”

Equidaily was upset.

“I think you are the King, Seth,” I tried to console.

"Well one thing is for sure, I can dance better than that"

Ray was dancing, and amazingly “Let’s Hear it For the Boy” was playing. He must have requested it.

“I can think of 360 reasons why that is so wrong,” said Jessica, now beside me, watching Paulick dance.

“Maybe he will do a 360” I said. Jessica smiled, a big round smile, not a 180.

“Hey there is CG. Where have you been?”

”I ordered takeout” said Cangamble “but it was like $18 for a pizza. Takeout is too high. The next time I order, I am going to pick it up. And no more Woodbine pizza. Those 28% margins on their triple pepperoni special are criminal.”

“Hey who is that dude?” I asked. “I think it might be that Tinhorn guy. “

“Tinhorn, like a greenhorn, like Green But Game…..... that’s me!!!” said Dana.

“No, that dude who spells good – Fugue for Tinhorns” I said.

“He has no business here” said Cangamble. “People who can spell. And what’s a fugue? What’s a tinhorn?”

None of us knew.

"I do," said Claire. Claire was writing for fancy places like ESPN. She was like Bill Finley, only much younger. And she could spell, she could really spell.

"Hi Claire" ....... I was instantly interrupted.

The door flew open and glowing vision walked in. It was none other than Teresa from the Brooklyn Backstretch, and behind her carrying her train was NYRA’s very own Andy Serling.

The party had started, and that was my cue to vamoose. I needed my sleep.

Another party at the pub was done for another year. Me, my peeps, and a guy who looks like Kevin Bacon.

In case it was not obvious, the people at this fictitious party all linked to my silly blog here in Pocketland in 2009. I thank them a ton for that and wish everyone a Happy Holiday and a very nice New Year.


dana said...

LOL, I'm wearing purple socks today... ironic, no? Very festive & clever post!

sid fernando said...

That was very funny...always is when i can hear myself laugh. I don't usually read blogs, but when I do, I prefer Pull the Pocket.

Cangamble said...

Hey, I got nuthin against good spellors.

That Blog Guy said...

That certainly was something I definitely would say so I had to think for a moment where I was yesterday:-)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Kevin B said...

Dude. That was me at the bar. Ray doesn't hang out in pubs these days. I guess I'm just getting a lot older and don't have the dance moves I used to.

Thanks for the pub, though. Please check out my website and spread the good cheer of the holiday season.

Teresa said...

Andy's going to be really pissed that you've spilled the beans on the way he follows me around.

Happiest of holidays--

Andy Serling said...

I see I'm, once again, following Teresa.

You clearly need to upgrade those " linked " to your blog.

Happy holidays.

Glenn Craven said...

OK, for the LIFE of me I can't believe that I missed this when it was new. But The Most Interesting Man in the World is right; this is funny.

I ended up here today only because somebody linked to my blog *from* this post. So you're still amusing people with this one, more than six months later.

So here I am, LOLing home a well-beaten last.

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