A Message from Melissa Nolan's Husband Patrick, to Horse Racing Twitter Regarding Her Passing

With the heaviest heart I am reaching out to all who are saddened by the news of Melissa's recent passing. I've seen and heard the kindest words reflecting what Melissa never wanted to hide, that horse racing was the great passion of her life. She could pick winners with the best of you, but even a bad day at the windows never tempered her joy from being immersed in the spectacle and camaraderie of the track. For the past 21 years I was lucky enough to experience horse racing firsthand with one of the sport’s most loyal and ardent disciples, and through that entire time Melissa never lost her childlike wonderment for the beauty and grace of the equine athlete. Nothing was more exquisite to her than witnessing those majestic creatures flawlessly perform what they were born to do. 

All of us who love this sport long enough remember our bad beats as vividly as our triumphs, and experience tragic lows intertwined with those incredible highs. It becomes an integral part of our lives, and we accept the pain it can cause because we also witness breathtaking magic. Now that Melissa is gone, I worry I may never feel the same levels of agony and ecstasy. Her pure emotions contributed to my own, but I will never give up my love for this sport even if the sensations are less intense. I know that I will always be closest to her when I am at the track, among her racing family. 

Because she was so young, it is natural for people to have questions about her unexpected death. I don't have any explanation, and it's possible that the specific cause will never be known for sure. Melissa loved having a good time, but her father's passing in 2019 was difficult and she struggled with alcohol at times. We went through some rough patches this past winter, but I really believe that she was looking forward to her favorite time of the year as summer approached. Melissa could accomplish anything she put her mind to, and although she didn’t tell me what she was doing, my fear is that she too drastically stopped drinking. The autopsy revealed an enlarged heart, and with it a likelihood her body was not strong enough to handle the shock of withdrawal. It pains me to share this, in part because she concealed her problem well and would be devastated by its revelation, but also because I am ashamed that I let it happen even though I don’t know what I could have done differently. My sole motivation is the hope that it will encourage the idea that you don’t have to do something that hard on your own even if you know you can. 

I wish that it hadn’t taken so long for word of her passing to become known to all who knew her through racing. I lost my wife and partner, but as the touching words you have shared reveal, she meant a great deal to many of you. Please know that your interactions with Melissa, virtually and in person, added to the happiness racing brought her. Thank you for stimulating her insatiable desire to expand and share her knowledge of the sport. Please do what you can to continue her advocacy for what she held so dear.