It's a toughie.
Fortunately for you, Pocket has your back.
Here are nine things to do on Oaks Day that does not involve helping out a Churchill Executive's stock option exercisiment.... or exercisation, or exorcism. Whatever. These ten things also might help you keep your sanity; along with a few more dollars in the wallet.
Here we go!
2. Penn National Breeding Seminar With World Famous Breeding Expert Sid Fernando: Penn National goes tomorrow evening and overlaps with some Oaks races. At 6PM join me on twitter peppering pedigree expert Sid Fernando with questions on twitter. "Hi Sid, do you think the seven can handle the mile and 70 yards?" "In this next five claimer do you think the Jamie Ness off the claim horse can outrun the lack of stamina of his second dam?" "With all that slots money, why is the picture so crappy?" We can have fun like that all night. Join us!
3. Northlands Park Pick 5: Where's Northlands Park? It doesn't matter. If you want to be a bettor and not one of those goofy people who doesn't care if they lose money at the track, all you need to know is it has a 10% rake pick 5 and it starts at 8:30PM in race one. It even has a free program. If we can't beat a 10% takeout pick 5 none of us should be let near a past performance page ever again. If you don't play this bet and you're seen on twitter complaining about takeout rates, Andy Serling will block you, and he will be justified in doing so.
4. Play With the Kids: After you're finished betting the Northlands Pick 5, take the rest of the night off and play with the kids. If you don't have kids, go rent some for the night. Throw a ball, take them to soccer practice, watch a good kids movie with them like Let it Ride or Phar Lap. Just keep them away from the Oaks.
5. Call Up Ron Turcotte and Chat: In case you haven't heard, he ain't going to Churchill. He'll be home and he'll probably be bored. Give him a ring and you'll get to chat with a legend.
6. Get On an Email List With Churchill Downs Handle Updates: So I'm sitting here Tuesday and all of a sudden "ping!", another email. I figure it's a real email but no, it's like six dudes who are watching Churchill Downs handle, hoping it fades faster than a CDI Exec's approval rating. It's fun. If Oaks handle is really good they won't email you, so in that case, go play with your rented kids or something.
|Real track execs hang on the apron|
8. Find Tom LaMarra and Bet What He's Betting: Knowing LaMarra he'll be at some dive betting b-track horses off an obscure trainer angle. It's truly good to go back to our roots sometimes. Follow the man, you'll have a good time.
Have a great day everyone.