Monday, September 29, 2008

Keeping the Comical Theme......

.... this recent post at about horseplayers and rumour is laugh out loud funny (in my opinion anyway).

For the full thread click below. It is worth a read for a laugh.

I was at the track at Prairie Meadows yesterday, listening to some of the simulcast bettors complaining about this. To give you an idea of how naive some horseplayers can be, here was the conversation:

Man 1: Belmont cancelled today?

Man 2: It looks like it. Anybody know why?

Man 3: Something to do with the weather.

I decided to have some fun.

Me: The rain blew the fuse that runs the toteboard.

Man 2: Why can't they put another one in?

Me: They don't have any on hand, and the hardware stores don't carry the kind the toteboard needs, so they have to order some from Chicago.

Man 3: Well you think they'd be smart enough to have a few spares!

Man 2: I hope they're shipping those fuses overnight!

Man 4 (walking up): I hear Belmont canceled because of the rain.

Man 2: Nah, they're just making that up. The toteboard fuse blew out, and they were too stupid to keep any extras in stock.

Man 1: Yeah, they're using the rain as an excuse.

About two hours later, I came back to hear:

Man 5: What happened to Belmont?

Man 6: All of the fuses blew out when the rain hit the toteboard, and they don't have enough to get the track running again. The only company that makes the fuses is in Miami, so they're having FedEx send them some overnight.

Man 7: It wasn't Miami, Chet, it was St. Louis.

Man 1: I thought it was Chicago.

An hour later at a different table:

Man 8:: What happened to Belmont?

Man 3 (yes, one of the originals I spoke to): We don't know. They think it was attacked by some hoods.

Man 8: Hoods?

Man 3: Yeah, the hoods cut all the wires to the toteboard, and they can't get it fixed in time to race today.

Man 8: You'd think they'd have better security than that!

And a half-hour later:

Man 9: Didn't Belmont run today?

Man 10: No. Some terrorists blew up the toteboard. They might not race again this year.

Man 11: Belmont canceled racing today because of the rain.

Man 2 (one of the originals): Nah, that's their excuse. They don't want people to know that they don't keep any extra fuses on hand.

Man 10: What good would fuses do if the toteboard was blown up?

Man 2: The toteboard blew up? Who told you THAT story? It was because the fuses blew out!

Man 3: No, they cut all the wires.

Man 2: No they didn't. I heard it on the news. The fuses all blew out.

As I was getting ready to go home, I stopped by the tables again:

Me: What happened to Belmont today?

Man 12: Some terrorists bombed it, Tom.

Man 7: Were any horses hurt?

Man 12: Nope, They just blew up the grandstand.

Man 8: And the toteboard.

Man 5: I guess they'll move racing to Aqueduct.

At that point, an announcement came over the public address system:

"For your information, racing at Belmont was canceled due to the rain. All the rumors of bombings and attacks are untrue. Belmont will resume racing tomorrow."

Man 2: See, Mitch? I told you the terrorist bullsh*t was fake. All that happened was that the rain shorted the toteboard and blew out the fuses.

Man 12: Why didn't they put some new fuses in?

Man 3: They don't keep them in stock. They have to order them from San Francisco.

Man 1: Chicago.

Man 6: Miami.

Man 7: St. Louis!

To continue head over to Pace.

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