Tuesday, January 20, 2009

CSI Recap

Although CSI Miami clearly has some of the best acting in the history of the craft, it simply is not a show regularly on my dial. But I did watch it tonight for the horse racing episode. In case you missed it, I am going to synopsize it for you (if that is a word, I am not sure). Spoiler alert!

- Man dies at the track, and no, it wasn't from heart failure after seeing the superfecta takeout

- A female jockey (who's super-smoking hot) resorts to cheating by using a buzzer on a horse. She needs it to get ahead in a man's world.

- Really hot woman in the science lab senses that drugs were used on the horse so someone could cheat, and make money bettin'

- David Caruso takes off his glasses and sneers at a mobster

- All knowing really good-looking science woman tells the model-looking science guy that the horse pinning his ears back means he is unhappy with him. She is apparently from Kentucky, and everyone from Kentucky knows this

- Man taking care of the horse has a heart of gold. As well, he appears to be taking a sabbatical from his regular job as a Tommy Hilfiger model so he could work for $350 a week as a groom. (Casting error note: He had clean fingernails)

- Polytrack is discussed, and for the first time in history, it does not spark an argument

- The hottest woman ever to pass a university-level organic chemistry course falls for the GQ groom. Meanwhile she discovers, using her handy pocket-cocaine testing kit, that drugs were used to make the horse go slow, to cheat bettors

- Cangamble is seen in the 4th row of the upper deck of the track, holding a sign saying "Frank, lower the takeout now!"

- Bad Russian guy is caught, for cheating. He is one of the 2% of the people who make money betting racing. There is one less now, however, as he has a date with the greybar hotel, courtesy Detective Horatio Caine

So, all and all, a typical Hollywood horse racing plotline - drugs, buzzers and cheating - but this time with Caruso, which made it a kick ass episode and one for the ages. It is one you do not want to miss on reruns.


G. Rarick said...

Thanks for that! It will be about five years before that episode makes it over to me in France (where it will be badly dubbed), so I'm glad you've given me the lowdown - and provided my laugh of the morning!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Sorry I missed it...

Unknown said...

That is a great summary; probably better than the actual episode. Keep up the great blogs.

Anonymous said...

What's with red headed guy from New York doing with a name like Horatio anyway?

best regards,


Wind Gatherer said...

I(taking shades off)...am sorry....I...missed the show!

Anonymous said...

Wind Gatherer...are you tilting your head to the side as you speak?

Anonymous said...

Now that was really funny. BTW, I also paid for subliminal ads within the commercials.
"drop the takeout" "Willmot sux" etc.

SaratogaSpa said...

CSI Miami is a visually appealing show and looks great on a HD TV but I felt the episode did not exactly show racing in a positive light. Lets review how various racing characters were portrayed:

Jockey: a Cheater (she used a electric prong on her horse)

Horse Owner # 1: a killer, who kills a fellow horse owner with a bolt gun

Horse Owner # 2: a scam artist who lies about a horse in order to buy it from another owner at a low price

Track Vetanerain: A former Gambling addict and recovering Cocaine Addict in debt to the Russian Mob

Head Mob Guy: Drugs horses with cocaine in order to fix horse races
on a routine basis.

The only track person portrayed in a positive manner is the Groom, who manages to pick up the hot blond CSI investigator.

If you did not know horse racing and watched this show you would think that jockeys cheat, horses are drugged all the time, owners hate each other and will kill if neccessary. This episode only added to the perception that racing is fixed and filled with drugs and cheating.

Pull the Pocket said...


No doubt you are correct, but Hollywood is like that with everything isn't it? Aren't their plots simply caricatures, or stereotypes of every business?

If I had a dollar for each time a drug or oil company character had a patch over his eye and knocked old ladies down while they were crossing the street; for entertainment, I'd be rich :)

To be quite honest, I found the episode a little more heady than I expected. Not much more heady, but a teeny bit.


Anonymous said...

As usual, hollywood /TV produces an error filled episode. really enjoyed the jock wearing silks in the morning. What a joke!!

Anonymous said...

Apparently Chantal Sutherland got turned down for the role of the smoking hot jockey.

Colins Ghost said...

Man, that is funny. Glad I missed it. Amen on the silly caricature of just about everything on the boob tube. Racing isn't its only victim.

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